Stand by your Man, and the real reason the "Big Day" isn’t set in stone. {Engaged part 5}

One of the biggest reasons I think Scott and I fell so hard and so fast for each other is because we’re both pretty blunt communicators. It’s very easy for us to talk to each other and be on the same page and the same team. We both knew exactly what we wanted and neither one of us had any intention of playing games with the other one’s heart. With that special gift we were both able to be completely honest about what got us to that point and how that changed our outlook on qualities we wanted our spouse to have.

Honesty & Communication are such simple things, I never thought I would be so grateful for them.

Before I even heard Scott’s voice, and before he even asked for my number, he told me that he was divorced. I think the word divorce can have some ugly words associated with it, words I know you know and words that I don’t think really need to be written here.


Because of ‘divorce’ I get to be with my sweetheart for eternity.

My sweetheart is none of those ugly words, and I have the same amount of reservations saying that today, as I did on the first day we talked about it.

That number is zero.

In the beginning of our relationship Scott offered to tell me anything I wanted to know about the divorce. I protected myself (my competitive drive self) and chose not to ask questions. If this was really going to go somewhere wouldn’t it be better not to know anything about her? I didn’t (and don’t) want our relationship to be about her or “the divorce.” What would be the point? What would be the significance of those details? I wanted to answer that question for myself before I opened that box. Before we even met we decided that from the beginning the only members of this relationship were Scott, Jess, and God.

I will say however that what stuck out to me during this, was the fact that Scott spoke not ONE negative word about her, and she wasn’t brought up ever really, we didn’t talk about her until we had to.

My heart decided that the only question I needed an answer to was this. “Are you still in love with her?”

The second he said “No.”  I had an overwhelming feeling of calm and knew that I needed nothing more than that.  

 And whether he knew it or not, during those dark days of heartache he was fighting for me, and for our family, for our marriage, for our sealing, and for our eternity.

 And whether I knew it or not, during those dark days of heartache I was fighting for him, and for our family, for our marriage, for our sealing, and for our eternity.

and while there are so many more blissful days in our life now, we’re still fighting for each other, for our family, for our marriage, for our sealing, and for our eternity.

She and Scott were sealed in the temple when they were married, and while they are legally divorced, the church will not cancel/break their sealing unless she remarries someone in the temple. We believe that being sealed in the temple to your spouse is a “saving ordinance”, and without sufficient reason, the church wouldn’t take that away from her, which I completely respect.

Men however are allowed to be sealed to more than one woman, which means that Scott and I can be sealed for eternity, but in order for that to happen we have to get a document from the First Presidency of our church giving Scott temple clearance.

I am aware that on a black and white level it looks like an underground polygamist operation. I know that that isn’t the case, but I don’t know how to explain that on a black and white level other than it took me some time to wrap my head around the fact that she will continue to be sealed to Scott until she remarries. What if she doesn’t remarry? Hard, hard questions that I spent a lot of time discussing with my Heavenly Father.

Bottom line is, God does NOT want us to be miserable, and while we might not be able to understand how the pieces fit on a black and white level, I am confident that we will have a perfect colorful  understanding in the eternities.

So what does that mean for me and Scott? It means that it has been a really hard two months collecting the appropriate letters and signatures to complete the temple clearance packet. It was sent to The First Presidency a week ago tomorrow! We couldn’t be more grateful to be in this stage of the game.  We are hoping to hear back in the next couple of weeks. So if you have some extra room in your prayers for us, we would be very grateful.

That temple marriage (sealing) is so very important to us, we will continue to work hard, do what we’re supposed to do, and fight hand-in-hand for it. As soon as we get the clearance we will be able to book the Mt. Timpanogos temple for August 8th, 2014 (shhh!) and finally start planning details to the best day of our lives.

Besides, if we have to wait longer than planned, it will give me an excuse to wear the best wedding related sweatshirt ever designed. Scott liked it, so he put a ring on it.

2 thoughts on “Stand by your Man, and the real reason the "Big Day" isn’t set in stone. {Engaged part 5}

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