Honesty & Communication are such simple things, I never thought I would be so grateful for them.
Before I even heard Scott’s voice, and before he even asked for my number, he told me that he was divorced. I think the word divorce can have some ugly words associated with it, words I know you know and words that I don’t think really need to be written here.
Because of ‘divorce’ I get to be with my sweetheart for eternity.
My sweetheart is none of those ugly words, and I have the same amount of reservations saying that today, as I did on the first day we talked about it.
That number is zero.
In the beginning of our relationship Scott offered to tell me anything I wanted to know about the divorce. I protected myself (my competitive drive self) and chose not to ask questions. If this was really going to go somewhere wouldn’t it be better not to know anything about her? I didn’t (and don’t) want our relationship to be about her or “the divorce.” What would be the point? What would be the significance of those details? I wanted to answer that question for myself before I opened that box. Before we even met we decided that from the beginning the only members of this relationship were Scott, Jess, and God.
I will say however that what stuck out to me during this, was the fact that Scott spoke not ONE negative word about her, and she wasn’t brought up ever really, we didn’t talk about her until we had to.
My heart decided that the only question I needed an answer to was this. “Are you still in love with her?”
The second he said “No.” I had an overwhelming feeling of calm and knew that I needed nothing more than that.
And whether he knew it or not, during those dark days of heartache he was fighting for me, and for our family, for our marriage, for our sealing, and for our eternity.
And whether I knew it or not, during those dark days of heartache I was fighting for him, and for our family, for our marriage, for our sealing, and for our eternity.
and while there are so many more blissful days in our life now, we’re still fighting for each other, for our family, for our marriage, for our sealing, and for our eternity.
She and Scott were sealed in the temple when they were married, and while they are legally divorced, the church will not cancel/break their sealing unless she remarries someone in the temple. We believe that being sealed in the temple to your spouse is a “saving ordinance”, and without sufficient reason, the church wouldn’t take that away from her, which I completely respect.
Men however are allowed to be sealed to more than one woman, which means that Scott and I can be sealed for eternity, but in order for that to happen we have to get a document from the First Presidency of our church giving Scott temple clearance.
I am aware that on a black and white level it looks like an underground polygamist operation. I know that that isn’t the case, but I don’t know how to explain that on a black and white level other than it took me some time to wrap my head around the fact that she will continue to be sealed to Scott until she remarries. What if she doesn’t remarry? Hard, hard questions that I spent a lot of time discussing with my Heavenly Father.
Bottom line is, God does NOT want us to be miserable, and while we might not be able to understand how the pieces fit on a black and white level, I am confident that we will have a perfect colorful understanding in the eternities.
So what does that mean for me and Scott? It means that it has been a really hard two months collecting the appropriate letters and signatures to complete the temple clearance packet. It was sent to The First Presidency a week ago tomorrow! We couldn’t be more grateful to be in this stage of the game. We are hoping to hear back in the next couple of weeks. So if you have some extra room in your prayers for us, we would be very grateful.
That temple marriage (sealing) is so very important to us, we will continue to work hard, do what we’re supposed to do, and fight hand-in-hand for it. As soon as we get the clearance we will be able to book the Mt. Timpanogos temple for August 8th, 2014 (shhh!) and finally start planning details to the best day of our lives.
Besides, if we have to wait longer than planned, it will give me an excuse to wear the best wedding related sweatshirt ever designed. Scott liked it, so he put a ring on it.
So where were we?
Scott passed the Poppa Bear meet & greet, and my heartbeat finally stabilized. Everything (well almost) was allowed to happen now. We actually had the go ahead to get engaged, and you know what comes after that? I get to be Mrs. Daly. So yeah, that was a pretty incredible feeling to be holding Mr. Daly’s hand pulling out of my Dad’s parking lot.
Scott is a bit of a tease, and the sassiest boy I know. That’s why I picked him. I’m pretty sassy don’tcha know.
We had ANOTHER TWO FREAKING HOURS IN THE CAR to get to the Diamondbacks game in Phoenix.
Which, Scott spent asking me questions about what we were going to do TOMORROW, as if he was feeling out the situation to make a plan to propose.
I gave him 9 different scenarios. No joke, I counted. Nine different scenarios for a small town is a lot of options. Every single time he responded with a smile and “Oh, that sounds good!”
What a punk.
Little did I know that he had much bigger surprises in store for me. We cuddled, and yelled at the umps, and ate hot dogs for dinner. (Scott later told me two dreams came true that night, he had a chili cheese dog at the ball park, and I said yes.)
We stood up and sang take me out to the ball game during the 7th inning stretch, I got lost in his blue eyes a time or two and couldn’t stop smiling at the way the corners of his eyes get crinkly when he looks at me.
And then the game was over, it was time to drive back to Flagstaff and get excited for tomorrow. The day I thought he was going to propose. We sat in the row for a minute until everyone around us cleared out, and we were holding hands and I started to walk out of the row.
Scott wasn’t as close to me as he usually is, and then he pulled on my hand to turn me around.
and as I turned to face him, he was dropping down onto one knee to ask me the most important question of my life, with the prettiest ring I have ever seen.
He completely surprised me, and I was so caught off guard, and excited I kept saying yes and started kissing him before he could hardly get the ring on my finger.
It was pretty magical, everyone around us started clapping and then we held hands and ran for the car so we could start calling everyone.
And from the beginning I knew Scott was different. I remember tell a good friend after our first date that I felt like I had just gone on a date with my husband. From the beginning we fit perfectly.
I called my Mom to tell her I was going down two weeks after we started dating. Eating every single one of my defiant words to her the week before where I claimed that I WAS NOT exactly like my sisters. I guess I will continue the tradition of McGuire girls who fall hard and fast.
but hey, when you know, you know. Right?
It just felt real, the basic day to day things.
It felt real, that I was going to marry this boy when he kissed me in the parking lot after my Dad said yes.
It felt real when he opened my door to walk me into the baseball game.
It felt real when he kissed the back of my neck and it gave me goosebumps.
It felt real when his hand fit so perfectly with mine.
It felt real the night we played cards in the teepee and he promised me the world.
It felt real standing there in the ball park when my life became the best romantic comedy the world has ever seen.
It felt real when I said yes.
We had plenty of time to talk in the car on the way to Flagstaff, and we knew that there was going to be a two hour window at my parents house before we would have to leave for the baseball game in Phoenix that night.
I figured Scott could just talk to my Poppa while he was home for lunch, and then I found myself with the whole family out to lunch with the worst possible conversations happening over the table. Rick and Alyssa were texting under the table to each other because me and Poppa Bear had launched into a conversation that definitely could have been discussed later.
So then we were walking to the cars, and Scott asks me if he should ask him. Uhm, yes? I don’t know, right here in the parking lot??
So he walks right up to Poppa Bear and says, “If it’s possible I would really like to talk to you before we go to the game.”
“Okay, if you want to come down to my office, I’ll make myself available.”
COMEEEEEE ONNNNNNNNN.. That’s not even fair. Poppa Bear has a three foot SWORD hanging on his wall. I mean, I know I’m his favorite, but I started to freak out. Scott sucked air pretty quick too getting into the back of my Mom’s truck, which, for my calm, rational, level headed man, I’m pretty sure was a sign of nerves.
So away we went back home because we drove with my mom, and I was legit starting to panic.
We got back to the house and Scott was in his room grabbing the tickets and I went into the kitchen to talk to Momsie. Who told me Scott needed to go in there alone.
He’s been in Flagstaff maybe an hour?
Scott was worried we might hit traffic if he had to come back to the house to get me, and so we decided Momsie would bring me to the office 15 minutes after Scott left.
I put the office address in his phone and he was out the door before I could even tell him it was a white office building.
By the time I pulled it together to text him, he responded with a “Here.”
Clearly he’s an adult.
So there was nothing to do but conference call all the sisters, and make Scott a double-double Blue Bell Milkshake.
It’s reallllllllly fun to be a McGuire girl, it’s even more fun to share exciting life changing moments with my sisters.
We stayed with his parents Wednesday night in St. George, and spent Thursday morning touring in St. George. This is the temple my parents got married in!
and then I spent a month on my sick bed. With plenty of time to have a meltdown about whether or not I could actually kiss my Scott when we got engaged.
I mean SERIOUSLY ?! He’s going to ask me to spend eternity with him and all I’m going to be able to do is High Five him?
So there was a cry for help.. We were a WEEK away from our trip, a girls gotta take matters into her own hands sometimes. Heaven bless doctors who don’t think you’re ridiculous for texting them silly grade school girl questions like, “When can I kiss my boyfriend?”
Really though, he’s very calculated and rational, but he let’s my crazy run wild. In fact he usually grabs my hand and chases the crazy right next to me.
So when I thought I was just getting over a stomach bug, pushing through and declaring “I’m not sick anymore and neither are you. ” Seemed reasonable. I had been down for 48hours, and well there is life to be lived. It was Friday night and we were going to go out.
“Hey Babe, wanna go buy a canoe and go on an aquatic adventure?”
10 minutes later a very good looking Mr. Daly was knocking on my door ready to play.
The adventure started out with my very rational idea that we could find a canoe at D.I.
They were out. Rats.
Not to be deterred, I decided Target would have a canoe.
But they did have floaties shaped like tropical animals.
So we bought a toucan and a monkey, you know, safety first.
Somewhere in aisle 17 as I was frolicking debating what I really wanted to happen. Scott asked me what the actual goal was.
An Aquatic Adventure Dear!
yes, but what does that mean?
Well, a boat of some sort and a body of water.
So we went to Cabelas.
They had boats lined up out the door just waiting for us, and I’m sure the salesguy saw us a mile away.
By this point we had caught a case of the sillies, and as we held hands in the store’s display paddleboat a decision was made.
Okay, so the salesguy said that they were really romantic, but still. Who DOESN’T want a four seater paddleboat with a biminy boat top and adjustable seat backs? It even has a cooler! Just in case we’re out paddling and need a cold beverage to quench our thirst. Really it’s better than Cinderella’s carriage.
Five minutes later we were trying to jam our new boat into the bed of Scott’s truck. We may have slightly underestimated the size of the boat, but we got it in the back, and Scott pulled out clip on emergency flashers from his emergency kit.
Is there anything more attractive than preparedness?
So off we went with our emergency flashers chasing the sun.
We had made this huge effort to go on an aquatic adventure, so the boat was getting in the water. Dark or not. Thanks to google maps I found a body of water. Which will be left nameless to protect the innocent.
And then Scott found a road, which actually wasn’t a road, more of a very wide, well paved bike path, but the water was visible from the top of the hill so it was a good idea. So we may have followed a biker for like a mile until we put together that we weren’t supposed to be there. There may or may not have been a locked gate saying that that was a No-No. Like a champ, Scott flipped a U-ie on the bike path with zero visibility.
We found our little patch of heaven just as the sun was going down, and launched our girl on her maiden voyage. Which we have lovingly named Yeah Buoy!
We did a victory lap in the dark, and it was perfect.
Aquatic Adventure = Success.
Extended Footage of Yeah Buoy!’s maiden voyage.
If you listen real close at 1:05, we realized we probably should have unwrapped the plastic wrap “protecting” the pedals from rotating.
My body went into full revolt.
About ten days ago I woke up in the middle of the night with what I thought was a stomach bug, and stopped throwing up long enough to get dressed for work, telling myself I could get through a five hour training. But in the culinary industry we can’t play around with things like that, no matter how tough you are. So fifteen minutes after I started working I found myself driving right back home picking up several cases of gatorade on the way home. I don’t even remember the last time I was sick!
Two days later I was allowed to go back to work, due to national safety regulations I have to wait 24hrs after I stopped throwing up before I could get back to the kitchen.
Friday night rolls around and I had had enough of being sick (two days, little did I know.) So I called my sweet Scott and asked him if we could go on an aquatic adventure. Which deserves a blog all its own.
Saturday night I was hurting. The lymph nodes in my face and neck were swelling, especially at the base of my skull and on my head. Since the double concussion any extra pressure on my head is bad news bears. Blurred vision, nausea, not good. So not realizing how bad of shape I was in, I figured I just had a really bad tension headache and my massage therapist could work it out for me. Bless her sweet heart I called her begging her to come immediately, thankfully she didn’t mind one bit and came and worked the tension and swelling out of my head and neck and worked on breaking my fever with essential oils.
Probably the best I felt in three days.
Then I get a text from Scott saying he went to the Dr. and turns out he has strep. So there was no more playing for him, and Sunday I rested all day long. Until my throat started to hurt really bad and I decided I wasn’t playing around with strep. After a little party at instacare with a very mean Dr. who told me I didn’t have strep, but I did have mono, there was a meltdown. He told me the worst part hadn’t even hit me yet and that I needed to rest for three weeks.
THREE WEEKS?! I’m going to feel yucky for THREE WEEKS?!
and because my strep test was negative he couldn’t give me antibiotics for three days, otherwise I might get a magic measles looking rash on top of all this fun stuff.
So I stomped my foot repeatedly in Smith’s. No one, not even my body gets to tell me to slow down.
****eats all my words****
Sad, sad girl.
but then it continued to escalate.
I was swelling so bad I couldn’t get any fluids in me. Gatorade, Water, my Super V8, nothing. I was scared and miserable.
Enter my Angel friend Kristina, she knew I was sick and came to check on me and knew I needed to go back to the Dr. But not the mean Dr. A Dr. who would listen to me and actually help the situation.
She got me packed up into the car and drove me to her Dr. who took one look at me and said that we needed a different plan than just resting. My organs had started to swell at this point and that was freaking me out. My body was in complete revolt/shut down. So so so dehydrated.
So they hooked me up to an IV in a dark room right there in their office so I wouldn’t have to go to the hospital. Lots of fluids and stuff for nausea, Kristina rubbed my feet and I calmed down a little bit. They were able to give me steroids for swelling and did a second strep test.
The steroids went to work on the lymph nodes and they went down in size considerably. Who knew you had so many? Visually could see a little “string of pearls” in my neck and shoulders. Gross. I went home to rest for another day and woke up in the middle of the night in a panic. It was insanely hard to breathe.
If I was laying down then I would get congested, but if I sat up I couldn’t fill my lungs all the way and felt lots of sharp stabbing pains in my lungs. Apparently my spleen and liver have been swelling and were interfering with my breathing capabilities. Mono is a blood disease and your spleen filters your blood, who knew.
So I told Kristina who had so graciously come to tend me at 2am, that I thought I could tough out breathing until we could see the new Dr. who had been so helpful. (Breathing is not something to tough out. ) But I made it, and the Dr. decided he wanted to do bloodwork and an ultrasound on my spleen, liver, and aorta.
Scott and I made some really funny jokes in the Dr’s office, I should probably leave it at that, but for the record we’re really funny. Man I was grateful to have his hand to hold. I don’t like being sick.
Survived the bloodwork and ultrasounds, found out that my spleen was 4cm larger than it should be, and my liver was swelling. Oh and that I did have strep. Partyyyyyyyyyy.
Scott left me with Kristina to go pick up doTERRA for me, and to catch his class, Kristina got me tucked in, and passed the torch to Madi who picked up my new prescriptions and dinner for me. Then we watched Blank Check from the 90’s and it was glorious. Then Madi passed the torch to Scott and Hannah.
Nurse Hannah set all the prescription and Tylenol/Motrin reminders in my phone and monitored my breathing.
Heather picked up food for me and helped me move from upstairs to downstairs.
Dustin fixed a leaky toilet and didn’t mind that I couldn’t get off the couch to thank him.
Work told me to focus on resting and I got to rest for a week.
Gayle and Fred sent me the sweetest package with the prettiest scarf to cheer me up.
Kristina took me to get a pedicure and cucumber, lemon, mint juice.
Emery was my hands at work and I got to help quarterback a recipe from home.
Hannah brought me coloring books after I threw a tantrum that I was never going to get better.
My Mom got me the best multivitamins and answered her phone whenever I called.
Lindsay & Kristin put up with my many skype calls because I was bored and sad.
Scott was nice to me after I asked him if we could name one of our kids TangEly Frozenly.
Scott was nice to me after I asked him if we could at least name our doggie Spleenie.
Both are in the talking pile.. Mono makes you a little crazy.
My hometeachers came over and gave me a blessing.
Kelsi made me some divine chicken noodle soup and brought Mango Sorbet.
Lauren put up with a ridiculously silly phone call in the middle of the night.
I know that I can’t run as hard as I have in the past, and as scary as this week has been, and I know my body will continue to take it’s time to recover, I am so grateful for all my Angels who came and took care of me these past two weeks. I am not an easy patient, I stomp my foot frequently. But with all this time I’ve had to rest, I have learned that it’s okay to ask for help, and it was okay to let people take care of me. It was very humbling for me to be on the other side of the service. I ask myself frequently how can I give more, and this is one of the first times I realized that I can’t. I can’t give more, and that these people love me enough to take care of me. I don’t know what I would have done this week without so many prayers and angels to put me back together. I have so many wonderful people in my life. This is why we’re here y’know, to take care of each other.
It certainly takes a village.
I love my village.
After the front door struggle bus episode Scott made the executive decision to use the kitchen door. He knocked on the door and said our usual hellos, and after he told me I was beautiful he told me to wait right there with my eyes closed.
When I was allowed to open my eyes he was standing there with the biggest bouquet of peach roses. The prettiest arrangement I’ve ever seen. The roses were so BIG, and they were for me. It is so fun to be “woo-ed”. (Boy Meets World).