October 19th, 2013

Was a day I was preparing for my whole life.

I didn’t expect this day to come without it being tied to a husband or a mission, something so much bigger than me. Jessica Nan McGuire.

On October 19th, 2013. I was blessed to be able to go through the temple.

I had been thinking about this decision for awhile, working really hard, and preparing in every way I knew how.


So I’ve been praying a lot about it. Like that good non-stop consuming prayer thinking about it. And tonight when I was driving to Smith’s I felt it. I felt that overwhelming yes it’s time. And I cried. Because look how far we’ve come. From that sad, confused girl in Denver to now. Where I want nothing more than the temple and I feel worthy of this next step. 

And it’s big and scary.

Written next to the Eggs. 

I know that I hold insecurity in the desire to find marriage. My big beautiful family, wants marriage for me, not because they think I’m incapable of taking care of myself, but because there is a certain happiness that comes from their marriages and families. Which is the best kind of happy, of course the people who love me the most want what’s best for me.  and I want that happy too. With my whole heart I want that kind of love and happy. 

I wouldn’t trade my experiences since I left home for anything. I have learned more about who I am, and who I want to be in the past four years than in my whole life. Which I know I needed in order to feel confident and happy in a marriage. (no, I’m not secretly dating someone.) It was really scary for me to tell my Bishop I felt ready to make this step forward. Although there is no rule, it’s pretty standard to go through the temple in conjunction with marriage or a mission. 

But I trusted my heart, and ignored my insecurity. Because this. was. right. 

and My Bishop and Stake President felt exactly the same way. How grateful I was for that affirmation. They knew, I knew. There are things that insecurity wants nothing more than to destroy. To beat down the door and stop you in your tracks. 

but there are things that are bigger than insecurity, things that can’t be broken or destroyed. 

this. this is one of those things. 

and as I was standing all dressed in white feeling more beautiful and confident than I ever thought possible, with the two people who have seen me as that kind of beautiful my entire life. 

it clicked. 

Working towards this was truly the first time in my life I chose to know for myself what I believed in. It makes sense that my all too often distracted brain would have an opportunity to do this without any other events to distract. It made sense for me. 

October 19th, 2013 was always supposed to be October 19th, 2013. 

If you would like to know more about what happens in our temples click here

Our House, in the Middle of the Street

I once had a Sunday School teacher who’s mantra was: You do good things, you get good things.” I seem to be riding the good things train lately. (Don’t worry, the holidays  and crazy hours will come. I promise a solid breakdown.) but until then, let me tell you my news!

When I moved to Utah my Dad mentioned he would possibly be interested in buying a property and renting it out to college age girls. When he said that I wasn’t really in a stable place financially or adult-ly.  “C’mon Dad, let’s do this. I don’t have a job, I just got my heart broken, and I know nothing about Utah. You should buy a house.” riiiiiiiight

*In my defense, Poppa Bear has already said that when he gets old, he wants to live with me. Out of all the children. Good food and ESPN? He’s got his priorities straight.

Well, we’re definitely in a different place now. Job, medicated, understand Utah. That ladies and gents is a three-fer. I had a pow-wow with Poppa Bear while I was in Arizona and presented my case. We all know I’m his favorite anyway. 😉 For the past two months I’ve been looking at houses and skyping my parents in on the favorites. It’s been so fun to send houses back and forth with them! When they came up this week we had compiled a top 4 for them to go see.

The three of us decided on a house this week, and they accepted our offer! I’m going to the inspection tomorrow, and hopefully we close super soon! I am beyond thrilled with our pick. White brick fireplaces, wood floors, granite in the bathrooms, beautiful lawn…. and this.

Let’s talk about this shall we?

are you as in love as I am? That warm granite is definitely in the window sills as well. Plenty of counter space for this year’s gingerbread house. I might sleep in the kitchen.

Don’t let the exterior fool you, this house has a huge downstairs and five bedrooms!

Oh, I can’t wait to decorate !

I think we might just have to have a formal house warming this fall.