The Second Engagement *spoiler* The clearance letter came !

June 2nd I was on the phone with my Mom. I was so humbled by the support and love we felt in response to my last post. There were even a couple of people that had either been through the same thing or people who were heading into the same situation reach out to us. So many good conversations. Feeling hopeful I was trying to make a plan for what we were going to do if the letter didn’t come for awhile, or if it came and said we needed to wait a few more months. Everything is planned around that temple date.

and then mid-conversation Scott called. Scott and I don’t really talk on the phone, so I figured I would finish talking to my mom and call him back in a minute.

but then instead of a voicemail he kept calling. I immediately put it together and answered his call.

Through tears and screaming and excitement Scott told me the wait was over.

Immediately bursting into tears and screaming and excitement of my own I managed to choke out a “where are you?” and a “please come over”.

It didn’t matter that I was gross from working out with my hair on my head.

He immediately rushed to come over and for the LONGEST 10 minutes of my life I tried to call parents and siblings and stared out my favorite kitchen window for Prince Charming to pull up.

As soon as I saw him I took off running down the driveway, and he started running towards me, letter in hand. I jumped on him, and he wrapped me in a hug so close I could feel his heart beating next to mine.

Finally. Finally. Finally.

and then he kissed me like I was allowed to be his, and he was allowed to be mine.

In that moment something changed. It was deeper, it was more real. Finally there were no walls in our way. There was a countdown.

I got cleaned up while Scott started calling everyone, we were so excited it didn’t even matter that the temple was closed on Monday and we couldn’t call them. Ha. So we celebrated by starting our registry and going to Outback.

I imagine this was a little taste of the joy and excitement we will feel on our wedding day. I have spent everyday since we met thanking Heavenly Father for this incredible man, and trying to wrap my head around why I was so blessed. This trial was truly such a small moment, and I would do it again in a heartbeat to be with Scott forever.

53 days and counting.

Lauren Michelle Photography

Scott wrote about the facts and timing of obtaining the temple clearance form here. 

LDS Temple Clearance Process

**This post is not endorsed by The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints, these are the thoughts and opinions of Scott regarding our experience in obtaining a Temple Clearance form to be sealed. **

I wanted to share the process that Jess and I went through to obtain a Temple Clearance form in the LDS Church for all those out there on the internet that may be beginning this process or already in it. When Jess and I knew we wanted to get married, I got online and started searching for how one goes about being sealed to someone in the temple after having been sealed before. I read several people’s accounts of what it took and the process. I will admit, some accounts scared me that perhaps things won’t work out or it may take forever. But I want to provide my reassurance and my experience.
I went to my Bishop first, as you should too. My Bishop had literally just been sustained to be the new bishop of our ward the week before, so this was a learning experience for both of us. I told him what I had read online and he said he would do research in the Church Handbook. The following Sunday, my Bishop had the paperwork that the stake had printed off for him. It’s a fairly simple form with some instructions for the applicant, your Bishop, and then Stake President. My Bishop sat down with me and we filled it out together, simple information stuff such as my name and address. It’ll ask for your former spouse’s name and address. Then also information for the person to whom you are engaged to. 
I had read online that women can only request a sealing cancellation if they are engaged to someone. This later made sense to me when I saw that you needed to fill out the section about the person to whom you are engaged to. I guess I don’t see a way around that. Anyway…
On the forms there are a few to-do items. My Bishop needed to call Jess’ Bishop in regards to her worthiness. Then my Bishop needed to send a letter to my former spouse asking for her feelings on this application and comments on any financial obligations related to the divorce.
The next part was the painful part. My Bishop mailed a letter to my former spouse 31 March. Two weeks went by and no word from her yet. It says in the instructions that if a response is not received a phone call may be attempted in placement of the letter. My Bishop called her and she was not very happy about the application and was slightly confused as to how the process worked. I do not blame her at all for not understanding because I didn’t at first. But she was pretty adamant about having our sealing cancelled first then allow me to get sealed to Jess. My Bishop and hopefully her Bishop explained to her that the process doesn’t proceed like that. But we gave her some time to write the letter and another two weeks passed and we called her again. She said she was working with her Bishop in writing her response. Obviously, Jess and I were quite frustrated at this point that she was taking so long and she was in control of putting our wedding on hold.
After another week and half she finally mailed it and we received it 13 May. This was by far the most painful and frustrating part. But looking back to this whole process, we were glad that we at least got it and were able to move forward. I was so nervous that she would only write awful things and the First Presidency of the Church would not grant us approval to be married, and sure enough, the letter she wrote was filled with nothing but hatred and horrible things. I’m not here to defend myself but, imagine you are my Bishop, brand new and he really doesn’t know much about me. He had read her letter and was quite surprised. But he said he had read it again and had impressions in his mind that convinced him that all was well and to proceed forward. 
Whatever happened through your divorce, I can tell you that even though her letter was awful, I prayed for the gift of discernment for my Priesthood leaders. Here was my Bishop with my story and her letter and he felt that all was well and sent the paperwork onto the Stake President by simply putting it in his box in the stake offices.
The very next day I met with the Stake President and he simply just wanted to make sure we had all the needed information. He met Jess and we had a lovely conversation. We left and he wrote his letter later that night and he mailed it to Salt Lake the very next morning. From the day that he mailed it to the day that the First Presidency’s response was in my mailbox and in my hands it took a grand total of 19 days. And now I just need to bring their letter to the temple with me on the day of mine and Jess’ sealing and we’re set. Overall, it took about 2.5 months from start to finish for this whole process for us. I’m sure it’s different depending on the situation.
To clarify, this was for obtaining a Temple Clearance form which is for men only. The Temple Cancellation form is the exact same piece of paper but you check a different box indicating a cancellation instead of a clearance. I have heard that cancellations can take much longer for the First Presidency to review because they are determining a daughter of God’s saving ordinance. 
Probably some details you didn’t care about are in here, but I just want to reassure the soul who is reading this and going through a similar process to have faith and to pray and Heavenly Father will see to it that you’ll be happy, no matter how painful or frustrating it is. 

October 19th, 2013

Was a day I was preparing for my whole life.

I didn’t expect this day to come without it being tied to a husband or a mission, something so much bigger than me. Jessica Nan McGuire.

On October 19th, 2013. I was blessed to be able to go through the temple.

I had been thinking about this decision for awhile, working really hard, and preparing in every way I knew how.

9.7.13

So I’ve been praying a lot about it. Like that good non-stop consuming prayer thinking about it. And tonight when I was driving to Smith’s I felt it. I felt that overwhelming yes it’s time. And I cried. Because look how far we’ve come. From that sad, confused girl in Denver to now. Where I want nothing more than the temple and I feel worthy of this next step. 

And it’s big and scary.


Written next to the Eggs. 


I know that I hold insecurity in the desire to find marriage. My big beautiful family, wants marriage for me, not because they think I’m incapable of taking care of myself, but because there is a certain happiness that comes from their marriages and families. Which is the best kind of happy, of course the people who love me the most want what’s best for me.  and I want that happy too. With my whole heart I want that kind of love and happy. 

I wouldn’t trade my experiences since I left home for anything. I have learned more about who I am, and who I want to be in the past four years than in my whole life. Which I know I needed in order to feel confident and happy in a marriage. (no, I’m not secretly dating someone.) It was really scary for me to tell my Bishop I felt ready to make this step forward. Although there is no rule, it’s pretty standard to go through the temple in conjunction with marriage or a mission. 

But I trusted my heart, and ignored my insecurity. Because this. was. right. 

and My Bishop and Stake President felt exactly the same way. How grateful I was for that affirmation. They knew, I knew. There are things that insecurity wants nothing more than to destroy. To beat down the door and stop you in your tracks. 

but there are things that are bigger than insecurity, things that can’t be broken or destroyed. 

this. this is one of those things. 


and as I was standing all dressed in white feeling more beautiful and confident than I ever thought possible, with the two people who have seen me as that kind of beautiful my entire life. 


it clicked. 


Working towards this was truly the first time in my life I chose to know for myself what I believed in. It makes sense that my all too often distracted brain would have an opportunity to do this without any other events to distract. It made sense for me. 


October 19th, 2013 was always supposed to be October 19th, 2013. 






If you would like to know more about what happens in our temples click here

You are never Alone.

I was talking to my Bishop last week, and we were talking about everything that I am trying to do in my life. My future goals, my goals for school, and really just life in general.

I have often felt that the reason I max myself out all the time is because that’s the only thing I know how to do. Because If I fail at one thing, I’ll still have 129847982749837423 other things I could possibly be good at.

I have made several Sacred Covenants at Baptism with my Father in Heaven, and part of that is preparing myself to enter one of his holy temples one day, with a worthy priesthood holder, to be sealed for time and all eternity.

If I was asked to give up all the dreams I am pursuing right now for a temple marriage, I would be in the car on the way to the temple. I want nothing more than to raise a righteous family. That is the dream. That is the goal.

I know that I have mentioned on several occasions that I am lonely, and I’ll admit I feel that way often, but I was turning to the wrong places to feel whole again. Because I know that I am never alone, and that my Heavenly Father loves me dearly, as do the rest of my family…

This past week I’ve made more of an effort to be involved with my single’s ward, I went to family night, institute, volleyball, and it made me feel less lonely, shocker. I know, you would think that I’m smart enough to figure out this problem.. but still, I felt better, and I met more people, and have since been called to be a visiting teacher, and there’s a calling in my future..

I have felt numb since May, and I just .. haven’t felt much of anything, including a desire to be myself and succeed at everything I want to do. And I blame myself for allowing Satan to come so close to me.. to be in my thoughts and actions, and it stops today. I refuse to feel so empty, because I am smart and talented.. and I know that you need to do good things to get good things.

and oneday, I will be walking out of the temple with my husband.

This is the Cardston, Alberta, Temple. It holds a very dear piece of my heart… but that’s another blog.

xoxo
Jessica Nan

Sunday..

My momma calls it filling your bucket, what do YOU need to do to recharge for the week. I went on a date last night, which was fantastic.. thanks for asking. His name… welll hmm that’s a mystery 😉

It’s just been a reallly good weekend and a fantastic Sunday. I had an interview with the Bishop today, and that went really well for me. It really helped me refocus on my goals, and what I want in life. It really was so beautiful, my heart is just overflowing with peace, hope, joy, and comfort.

This is what I want… and I’m going to get it 🙂
Dearest Husband, I would like you to take me here… It’ll be the start of  Eternity. 
❤ me